Mission Accomplished!
Warning: This post is unlike any other post in this blog and it does not make sense.So plz. don't read it!
'Mission accomplished' was the first thought that crossed my mind when I got that job offer from my new employer. The very next thought incidentally was 'What next?'. Strange isn't it? A year ago, the situation that I was in, I would have given my right arm for this job - Chennai base location, onsite opportunities, Aerospace domain, a decent salary and a good brand to add to the resume!
A year ago I would not have asked for more. But today, it feels different. There was no joy after the placement was over. No elation. I even waited a week for that feeling to come. It did not. I have always been proud of the fact that I had limited wants. That I have always been happy over the smallest successes that I have had. That I could easily give what I had to those who wanted without flinching. That a Rs.30 book bought near Moore market gave me more happiness than a Mercedes Benz.That the only things that I ever wanted were a bike, a computer and an unlimited internet connection. Nothing more.
The MBA course or something else has numbed me. Nowadays, I neither feel sad nor happy. I just feel uncomfortable, irritated and out of place. There's something missing, I dunno what. I watch movies to escape this feeling. I have seen close to a 100 movies after our placement. Thats like 3 movies everyday!
No motivation to attend classes.No motivation to do something useful. Nothing. I am just hanging out everyday with a bunch of oddballs(just like me) and doing nothing. Somebody(God) save me!
I never wanted anything personal to hit this blog, but then I was irritated that I am not updating this thing like forever now. No new ideas u c. Hence this post.
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4 comments:
Observations from one oddball to another:
1. Mate, two years all alone working in a foreign land and still trying to keep intact your identity (and of course your accent) does pretty much the same thing to you. Then there is the cooking, cleaning and keeping fit thing. The long and short of it is, "I know what you mean."
2. They say knowledge is power. I have come to completely understand that at times (many times) knowledge is pain. It is like knowing you have a pot of gold under your tent and so you can't get a wink of sleep; ergo, that pot of gold is only pain. And pain that you would never get rid of once you acquired it! Imagine throwing away a pot of gold! :-)
3. Sometimes I find it useful to just switch off. This happens when we have changed gears in our career/life without our conscious knowledge - like you completing your MBA and getting a job. That is because you never thought of anything beyond that...until now that is. So just chill till that thought process slowly finds its way into your gray matter.
4. I've learned to look at life as small chapters instead of one whole. That way it is much easier to fathom and keep control of.
If none of this works for you, just get married as a hundred other people would have told you by now. Then, I am confident you will have a lot of other worries to worry about that will take your mind away from your current troubles!
Now that I have said it all, you of all people (being an MBA grad) should know that nothing inthis world is for free! Hence lunch on you when we meet next! :-)
Ciao! And just Chill!
Thanx Mate! Well marriage is the last thing in my mind right now. I have truly figured out one thing in my life da...and that is 'Happyness' can only be pursued! And it is not pain that is affecting me now, its rather the lack of it. I am waiting for the next adrenaline rush, the next big challenge. And till then I guess it will be like this.
And seeing life in chapters seems a good idea. Lunch on me for this and Dinner on me for proving that there are still tangible things that come for free :)
i totally understand how you feel and what you meant in this post.
laddoo
This post made a lot of sense to me. I think all of us went through this phase in our B-school life "What next!?" :)
But, m glad thats over and there is soemthing to look forward to.
Hope u doing well at work Ram :)
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